“Will they stand their ground? Will they let you down again? What about your friends, are they gonna be lowdown? Will they ever be around? Or will they turn their backs on you?” Those famous TLC lyrics still ring true till this day. Friendships are so complicated the older we get. What I used to think about friends in my 20’s is totally different than what I think about them now. Circles will get much smaller and with life changes, you tend to see people differently. Also in my later years, I have learned the difference between acquaintances and friends. I used to call everyone a friend and in actuality I NEVER had that many friends but had tons of acquaintances and that was perfectly ok. Now, I cut most of those acquaintances off, my coworkers tend to fall into that category and I hold my small circle of friends close. I have never been the one for small meaningless talks.
Recently, I had a conversation with a friend who told me a story about a time she severed a friendship with someone. She had to let that person know that they were not friends and simply acquaintances. Why? There was a misconception of friendship between them. Let me tell you all the back story. One person (let’s call her Lisa) was going above and beyond to be there for the other person (we will refer to her as Candace). Candace went through such a hard loss earlier in 2016 with the loss of a parent and everyone banded together to help her through the hard times, especially Lisa since they lived in the same town. Candace runs her own business and has asked Lisa for her services numerous of times throughout the years and happily Lisa helped. During the second half of the year, Lisa began going through some changes and had to acquire a second job which took up a lot of her free time on the weekends, which meant that Lisa could not attend a few activities that Candace has planned during the latter part of the year. Well, Candace during those months has been saying little mean things here and there in group outings towards Lisa which was uncalled for but disguised it as a joke and of course Lisa took notice. Fast forward to Memorial Day …Candace annual Memorial Day BBQ came around and she did NOT invite Lisa but invited everyone else. She posted pictures all over social media and showed pictured in their weekly Sunday brunch dates as a group knowing she did not invite Lisa. Lisa called her out on it in private and Candace lied to Lisa on the excuse as to why she was not invited, claiming she reached maximum capacity at the facility she rented to host the BBQ. After some back and forth between the two that was not getting anywhere fruitful, Lisa finally lets Candace know, her mean girl behaviors were not ok and that is not how you treat someone whom you consider a friend. She continues to let her know that she must distance herself from that type of behavior and will remain cordial with her in the future, being they run in the same circles, but that type on fake friendship she will not be a part of. Candace, appalled at Lisa stance, tried to justify her behavior with other excuses, which fell upon death ears.
What do you all think of this? Do you think Lisa was justified in her stance against Candace? Do you think there could be some reconciliation to their friendship? Or do you think they should let things go? I would love to hear from you guys on this.
True friends are hard to come by. My mother once told me when I was a little girl that if you have 3 good friends as an adult, you are truly blessed. I used to think “Not me! I have way more friends than 3 and they are my real friends!” Now, that I am older, I think, man was she right! I MAY have 3 to 4 super close friends and 4 may be stretching it! And let me tell you guys, I am so blessed with the ladies I call friends. We empower each other, we never demonstrate mean girl behavior, we embrace our differences, and we hold each other to a high standard all the while understanding that we are all fallible human beings. We do not need to speak daily, because we understand that we lead busy lives but are there for each other during our time of need. That is the kind of friendship that all women should have. Fair weather friends are for the young kids. It’s those who demonstrate genuine friendship in the midst of a storm that are worth keeping around.
What about your friends? Will they hold you down?
Until next time Ladies